“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.”  ~ Ogden Nash (American poet)

Harsh, but dead on. Especially this past Saturday night.

Noah was gone for a week on a school adventure trip, rafting down a river in Big Bend National Park. Clyde was in Rhode Island last week for work. I’m in New York City this week for work. Not a stellar month for the family meal.

But we recaptured it Saturday night. Noah would’ve preferred to accept a sleepover invitation from a friend, but I nixed it in the name of family together time. He wasn’t pleased, but after eight hours of sex-ed at church, he was a nub who couldn’t really argue much.

Sprinkles cupcakes make even a Saturday night in your living room seem like a five-star event.

We grilled steaks, served with mushrooms cooked in butter, red wine, and pepper. Steak is my favorite food, hands down. But I found myself so in love with the mashed potatoes, I actually had steak leftovers. As is often the case when I have unusual vegetables or an unusually large quantity of them, I typed a key ingredients into the Epicurious.com web site and come up with this — mashed potatoes and turnips with roasted pear puree. The kids took one bite, made the face, and moved on, but they were absolutely wrong on this one. I ate it like ice cream — finally just getting a bowl of it when refilling my plate became embarrassing. I halved the recipe because it seemed to make a lot. This is a food I will crave. In fact, I’m wondering if any street vendors in Times Square might sell them. We also had a feta and beat salad (with various kinds of lettuce and arugula) and topped off the occasion with Sprinkles cupcakes. Watched 2012 huddled up on the couch together and went to bed. This is the kind of Saturday night I crave, especially when we’re so disconnected during the week.

Left early this morning for New York City. Had a difficult time getting jazzed about the trip, even though it involved one of my favorite cities and one of my favorite people (a side trip to Queens to see the original food freak in my life, Sarah). But sitting in her new, perfectly designed kitchen Sunday afternoon, eating Swiss cheese, bread, tzatziki, olives and chocolate chip banana muffins at the counter with her two adorable daughters, all felt right. There are few places I’d rather be. Sometimes it’s the leaving home that’s difficult; not necessarily the being away.

Sunday through Wednesday: Clyde’s keeping the family meals coming this week while I’m gone. His meal plan includes tater tots with cheese on top, breakfast night (featuring Sawyer’s favorite, biscuits and gravy), and Daddy Pasta (olive oil and garlic served over angel hair pasta with tomatoes, mozzarella, and parmesan cheeses). I must say he started out the week with a bang. When I called home to talk to everyone tonight, he was taking a homemade coconut cream pie out of the oven. Nice.

Thursday: I get home just in time to rush from the airport to school to take Sawyer to a doctor’s appointment. Noah will be at rock climbing practice, so we’ll gather for a late dinner around 7:45 pm. Sawyer and I will likely head to Whole Foods after the doctor’s appointment for something easy, since I won’t have even unpacked yet. We’ll grab a few servings of What Looks Good At the Store and head home.

Friday: Breakfast for the family (bird’s nests, I think). Clyde and I are going out to dinner to celebrate our 14th anniversary. Headed out to use a gift card at Park, given to us by great friends. Fourteen years. Wow.

Saturday: Hoping for another night of no phone calls, grilling up dinner, and watching a movie together. What can I say. I’m either boring … or tremendously content with being holed up with my three boys these days. Or maybe a bit of both.

“Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.”  ~ Voltaire

Multi-tasking: Cooking chili for dinner while distilling water for Noah's science project.

Amen!

Today marks the four-month anniversary of this blog project. Four months of eating one meal together every day (except for one slip-up, for which we made amends the next day). Four memorable meals with friends — old and new — from Africa. Four months of researching the countries of Africa, learning about each country’s customs, people, needs, history (OK, I’m way behind on this one, but a string of posts will begin catching me up shortly). I can’t believe we’re one-third done. I say that like I’m ready for it to be over, which I’m not. It really feels like we’ve been doing it so much longer. Perhaps there is a way to slow our fast-paced world?

The whole family is a tad fixated on food this week, after a monthlong hiatus from all things bad for you. Bring on the sugar, wine, and fried food!

Sunday: A marathon day — a crepes brunch with friends at noon (our family meal), 4th-grade science project with Sawyer and two friends at 2 pm, spaghetti and garlic bread dinner for 30 church youth by 5 pm, discussion of faith and economics at church at 6 pm. As a side note, 10 of your closest friends and family squeezed around a table for six to eat crepes doesn’t feel as crowded as you might think. The key is in the love.

It all seemed like such a good idea at the time...

Monday: When we signed up as a family to do the Kelly Challenge, luring in another family along the way, we promised all the kids involved a Celebratory Feast on the first day of March. On tonight’s menu: Chocolate chip cookie dough, a chocolate cream pie, sour-cream-and-onion Pringles, Burger House French fries, Häagen-Dazs ice cream, milk chocolate from Whole Foods, root beer, and perhaps a little beer and wine. Our real meal will be chili (because it was 45 degrees when we got up, isn’t going to get any warmer, and is raining all day), served with Fritos, sour cream, cheese and purple onion, of course. I’ll likely make a veggie version for Noah, using those fake-meat crumbles from Whole Foods. Although I think a child so snarky about his food might have to start cooking for himself shortly. UPDATE: Nausea, all around. As Noah’s friend said at the end of the meal: “The chocolate chip cookie dough did me in.”

Tuesday: Sawyer has chess this afternoon, and Noah has exams to study for. End of the Kelly Challenge party with the rock climbing team this evening, so Noah and I will be up there. Late dinner of leftover chili.

Wednesday: Family breakfast as Clyde is going out with a friend tonight. Maybe oatmeal with coconut milk, dried cranberries, pecans, and agave nectar (our very tasty sugar replacement of the last month). Sawyer is finishing up his science fair project with friends after school, then off to guitar at 5 pm. Quick and easy dinner of dal curry soup when we get home with naan bread and, if I can make it up to Richardson that day, a few Indian treats from the Indo-Pak Market.

Thursday: Family breakfast this morning — fake sausage for Noah, Whole Foods blueberry maple sausage for the rest of us, banana/protein powder smoothies all around — as I’m off to see Half the Sky Live with a friend (and anyone else who wants to join us!) at NorthPark Mall. Life changing book about the plight and hope of women and girls around the world, especially in Africa and the Middle East. Leftover dal curry soup for the family.

Friday & Saturday: Our weekend is a bit up in the air as we’re hoping to go to my family’s time-share cabin in East Texas (we’re on the waiting list). If we go, family meals three times a day. If not, we’ll come up with a last-minute backup plan around town.

“The human body has an enormous capacity for adjusting to trying circumstances. I have found that one can bear the unbearable if one can keep one’s spirits strong even when one’s body is being tested. Strong convictions are the secret of surviving deprivation; your spirit can be full even when your stomach is empty.” — Nelson Mandela

This quote so had me. Yes, that’s my life. No sugar for a month! No wine! And, not that I’ve really missed it, but no fried food, either. Trying circumstances, body being tested, strong convictions, surviving deprivation. I can so relate.

And then I get to the name of the person to whom the quote belongs. Well crap. I guess if Mandela can survive 27 years in a South African prison, I can clearly suck it up for another sugar- and wine-free week. Perspective is such a pisser sometimes.

And so, armed said perspective, new conviction, and a long list of produce from this weekend’s co-op pickup (sweet potatoes, broccoli, sweet peppers, avocados, apples, pears, cauliflower, potatoes, and two leeks), here’s this week’s meal plan:

Sunday: Had a grocery list and was headed to Whole Foods when free and delicious food started falling into my lap. On the way to take Noah to youth group, my friend Andrea called. She teaches an essay prep course for kids taking the SAT/ACT. She does the half-day class at Maggiano’s at NorthPark Mall, getting the room for free if she buys a certain amount of food. Would I like some chicken pesto linguini? Why sure! When I get to church, a friend has brought an extra beer-can chicken he’d just smoked it. Anyone want it? Why sure! We invited a few friends over, sauteed some broccoli, and voila — a delicious and practically free meal in 15 minutes or less. Not sure where all this food karma came from, but I’m just appreciating it.

Our favorite easy Indian. We get it at the Indo-Pak grocery in Richardson.

Monday: Clyde is picking up from rock climbing practice tonight, so a late dinner. The bonus, though, is lots of time to cook on my part. Noah has been craving an Indian feast so we’ll have a few items from our Shan selection from our last trip to the Indo Pak Market in Richardson (cheap, yummy, fairly easy spice mixes — only hitch is the high sodium): chana masala (curry chickpeas), tandoori chicken, and aaloo bhaji (curry potatoes). We’ll also have the cauliflower I got in Saturday’s co-op.

Tuesday: Unexpected meeting with some church folks on immigration reform means I’m out for dinner. So family breakfast it is. That meal whips me — and I’m not even in charge of it. Poor Clyde tries his best, but the kids get tired of breakfast food so quickly. Luckily, they’re on a sausage kick — fake sausage for Noah and Whole Foods’ blueberry, maple sausage for Sawyer. Toss a little fruit on the plate, and they’re good to go. Indian leftovers for my crew for dinner while I eat at Olive Garden (I remember when I used to think those breadsticks were the best ever. Ah, the taste buds of a 20-something).

Wednesday: This weekend, Noah’s rock climbing team has its first local competition of the season, this one at Summit, the coach’s gym in Grapevine. We’re volunteering at the comp, which I don’t mind at all. What I hate is tonight’s 7 pm volunteer meeting at the gym, 30 minutes and a lot of traffic away. The kids have standardized testing this week at school, so I’m thinking one of us will go unless we can get out of it entirely. Should we do another family breakfast or a quick and early dinner before one of us heads off at 6:30? I prefer dinner — fajitas are fast, easy, and will use up lots of that produce I got in Saturday’s co-op.

Thursday: I’ll be up at the gym with Noah for practice. Making a potato leek soup in the afternoon that Clyde can just heat up, add a salad to and be done. If I’m feeling ambitious, I’ll bake some bread in the bread machine.

Cheesy sweet potato crisps

Friday: Our February African feast! We’ll be dining with a lovely woman I recently met, who serves on the board of Congo Restoration with me, and her husband, who is from Ghana. Still working on the menu. I have so many sweet potatoes from the past two co-ops. And I’m determined to use them. Problem is Sawyer hates them (spat them out the first time he tried them at 6 months old), and Noah is lukewarm on them. Instead of our usual mashed sweet potatoes (with a little orange juice and maple syrup), I’m going to try these cheesy sweet potato crisps. If Sawyer doesn’t like this, I’m giving up. I will start here and assume inspiration will come.

Saturday: After a very nice break in sports — although you wouldn’t know it from our rock climbing practice schedule — we’re back at it this weekend. Noah’s first local comp is Saturday (pretty much a day-long affair), and Sawyer is going to give competitive tennis a try. (That boy’s gotta move between football and baseball!) Not sure how this is all going to work timing-wise, but at the end of the day, we have a lovely evening with friends and paella awaiting us. Paella without red wine or sangria, you ask? So do I. We’ll see how my Kelly Challenge resolve holds out. At this point, I’m not making any promises. Paella sans alcohol just seems wrong. And I’m sure it’s illegal in respectable parts of Europe. Mandela would understand, wouldn’t he?

“I need a wife.” — Me

This Monday and Tuesday are likely the busiest days of my entire year. In addition to normal mom duties and upcoming deadlines that need to be helped along, I have a 15,000-word report due on Tuesday and a two-day board meeting for Congo Restoration I need to attend.

Pray for me.

Sunday: Watching the Super Bowl with Clyde’s family in Waxahachie. Great crowd to watch a game I don’t really care about with. Sawyer has $11 on the Colts. Seems like a safe bet. We get the day off the Kelly Challenge so I plan to indulge in chips, queso, chocolate cream pie, and Dr Pepper. How many downward dogs do you think it takes to offset all that?

Monday: Breakfast together as I’ll be at the Congo Restoration meeting for dinner. My kid are so over the fried-egg-and-fruit trick we’ve been playing, so I think I’ll try this sausage and potato breakfast casserole. What’s not to love? Will have to make two, of course: one with real sausage; one with fake. But that means leftovers. I’ll make it on Sunday and just heat it up in the morning. Boys are on their own for dinner after making a run to get Noah at the rock climbing gym. I suspect they’ll go with Daddy Pasta (spaghetti tossed with olive oil, garlic power, salt, pepper, mozzarella, and tomatoes).

Stir-fried baby bok choy with garlic

Tuesday: I’m slammed all day, so we’ll eat something that takes little prep. Grilled chicken with stir-fried baby bok choy seems a good choice. Noah will have fake meat of some sort, and I have brown rice in the freezer. We got bok choy in our co-op pickup on Saturday. I’ve never cooked with it before so am excited to give it a try. It’s always the case that one of the four of us won’t like something new. My bets are on Sawyer this time. UPDATE: Oops. Unexpected hour-and-a-half meeting with Noah’s teachers this afternoon. Dinner at Tony’s; this meal pushed back a day or two.

Wednesday: Breakfast again as Noah and I are going to a rock climbing movie with a friend in Addison after the boys’ guitar lesson. Maybe there will still be leftovers from Monday? Fend For Yourself night for dinner unless I get inspired to whip up something else. I’ll be playing catchup on everything in our lives that’s gone to hell while I’ve been on deadline so who knows where the day will take me.

Thursday: Should be a post-huge-deadline leisurely day (although they rarely work out that way). I’ll be gone much of the afternoon taking Noah to practice and doing medial kits for Haiti with the rock climbing team so not home until 7:45 pm. Think I’ll make a nice red sauce (with meat for us; without for Noah). Clyde can toss together a salad and cook the pasta so it’ll be ready when we get home.

Friday: Dinner with friends. I have broccoli that needs to be eaten so think I’ll contribute this broccoli and herb frittata.

Saturday: Dinner with more friends. They’re making Cincinnati Chili. Oh yea.

Sunday: Our traditional Valentine’s Day fondue with the kids. Another day off the Kelly Challenge and we do plan on taking advantage of it. Every year, we have a scavenger hunt for the kids (with poems leading the way to the next treasure) and the same menu — a cheese fondue (with bread, steak, potatoes) and a chocolate fondue (with strawberries, pound cake, bananas, apple slices, clementines). Who needs to fight the Valentine’s Day dinner crowds when you have something this sweet at home?

“More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.” — John Kenneth Galbraith (author of The Affluent Society)

And so, a month tardy by American standards, I have started Diet No. 2,765. Or thereabouts. The focus is the Kelly Challenge, a monthlong challenge Noah’s rock climbing team does annually. No sugar, no fried foods, no fast food, no soda. For adults, no alcohol. They pick the shortest month of the year and give you Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day off. Really pretty easy, in theory. For the first time, our whole family is doing it, Sawyer joining in at the last minute with promises of a celebratory feast at the end. We’ve even talked another family into joining us (and some rock climbing moms to further share the pain).

Red wine and chocolate will be the most difficult for me. Clyde will miss his after-dinner cocktail. Noah is steel when it comes to challenges like this. And I fully expect sweet-toothed Sawyer to cave by this time tomorrow.

Here’s our fun-free menu for the week:

Sunday: Broiled chicken thighs with some yummy Caribbean seasoning from Whole Foods and olive oil (tossed in the freezer, already marinated, last week when we ran out of propane and made a mad dash to eat Italian; yes, we’re still out of propane). Served the chicken with brown rice (successfully frozen two weeks ago and reheated in the microwave), a spinach salad, and crispy kale. Noah had his favorite fake chicken from Whole Foods.

Monday: Sawyer has tennis until 5 pm; Clyde has to do rock climbing practice pickup so they won’t be home until 7:45 pm. Leftover chicken, rice, lemon rosemary baked tofu, and broccoli sauteed in olive oil with salt, pepper, and a splash of lemon juice at the end.

Tuesday: Family breakfast as Clyde is going out with a friend for dinner. I don’t pick up the boys from school until 4:30 pm (one has chess, one has tutoring). We have leftover penne pasta from Saturday night, so I’ll jazz that up with some olive oil, garlic, cherry tomatoes and a yummy cheese. Maybe bread. This month, bread is the new chocolate. I’m thinking oatmeal for breakfast.

Wednesday: We’re all home by 6:15 pm, following the boys’ guitar lessons. I have some chorizo in the Land of Forgotten Foods (aka,the freezer) so I’ll make what we call arroz con chorizo. I saute a red pepper and yellow onion in olive oil, adding in sliced chorizo. When it’s cooked, I add in a few cups of cooked brown rice, which soaks up all that amazing grease … er, flavor. It’s great with a sweet white wine like a Riesling or Gerwurtztraminer … but we’ll just have to imagine. Noah’s not too fond of the vegetarian chorizo or of rice these days. Actually, he’s pretty much on a food strike, but I’ll try to find something for him.

Thursday: Another family breakfast (eggs?) as Clyde has a meeting tonight. Sawyer and I are at the rock climbing gym with Noah for most of the afternoon, not getting back ’til 7:45. To save money, we’ll once again enter the Land of Forgotten Foods. What do we find? Three packages of pork tamales! Whip those up with a salad and some frozen corn and we are good to go. I’ll grab a veggie burrito or a few veggie tamales for Noah beforehand.

Friday: There is talk of a regular Friday get together with the family suffering through the Kelly Challenge with us. Nothing specific yet. But we do have a list of what we won’t be eating.

Saturday: Yet another family breakfast as both boys have sleepovers with friends tonight! Clyde and I haven’t been out alone in so very long. We’re short on cash but are thinking of finally trying Louie’s, known for making some of the best pizza in town. It’s maybe five minutes from our house. I adore pizza. Ridiculous that we haven’t been there. And pizza is NOT on our can’t have list!

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by me.” — Douglas Adams (English humorist and science fiction novelist)

I used to say that if I worked more than 15 hours a week, my whole family fell apart. Or maybe it was 20. Or 10. I can’t remember the number but do recall thinking how ridiculous it sounded.

Although our family does run better when I have less work, those days are over. I have more time and we need the money. Journalism hasn’t exactly been lucrative of late. But now I have a new, interesting, and regular freelance gig — plus two huge projects back to back. Good for the bank account. Not so good for the family.

So, menus of the next few weeks will be a bit simpler than those of the past. What that means is no recipes other than those I know in my own head. I’m not sure whether it’s actually faster to cook a memorized recipe, but I know it’s a lot less stressful. We have a refrigerator full of fresh fruit and veggies from Saturday’s co-op pickup, so that will be the basis of this week’s menus.

Oh, we’re also broke until these checks start rolling in. So, with little time and money to spare, here’s this week’s menu plan:

Sunday: We celebrated my nephew’s 15th birthday (wow) with the family in Waxahachie. Didn’t technically eat at the same table — adults ate Dickey’s in the living room, kids in the adjoining kitchen — but did share our fourth meal of the day (leftovers and chocolate mousse) once we got home. Apparently dinner at 4 pm doesn’t count. Fun, free, no cooking for me. Maybe we can make this a daily thing?

Monday: Fairly easy day for me, family-wise. Somebody else is picking up both kids and taking them to their activities this afternoon. Making my favorite Italian soup (aka, “Tracy soup”) for my favorite 9-year-old cancer patient and her family. (OK, she’s the only 9-year-0ld cancer patient I know. But even if I knew others, she’d still likely be my favorite.) We’ll have the same (a veggie version for Noah with no-chicken broth), ciabatta, and a salad. I have some kale that is on its last legs in the refrigerator so will toss that with olive oil, salt and pepper and broil that, too. Clyde will pick up Noah from climbing practice at 7, so we’ll all be home and ready to eat by 7:45 pm.

Tuesday: Another long stretch of work time for me as I don’t have to get the kids until 4:30 pm from school (tutorials for one, chess for the other). We’ll have an easy ham steak with cabbage and potatoes. Potatoes because everyone loves them and, if I add some cool stuff to them, they can be Noah’s main meal. Think I’ll add goat cheese, garlic, and parsley — because it sounds delicious and we have all three.

Wednesday: Kids just have guitar from 5-5:30 pm, so we can eat early (making Sawyer very happy) if we’re on the ball. We have some chicken in the freezer (Clyde can grill that up for us and have some leftovers to freeze for Grandma), sauteed spinach, broccoli (we like both; kids only like the latter), with some brown rice I cooked with wine and no-chicken broth and froze last week. I’ll get some fake chicken for Noah. UPDATE: All prepped and ready for Clyde to throw together while we were at guitar … only for him to find we were out of propane. What’s the No. 1 rule of the family dinner? Flexibility. Off we dashed to our favorite cheap Italian restaurant, Tony’s, for a lovely meal. The kids read the entire time so it was almost like a date. Saved the dinner for an easy quick meal on Friday.

Thursday: I’ll be at rock climbing practice most of the evening with Noah, while Clyde is at a church meeting. Sawyer will be at one or the other, whichever he finds least offensive. So we’ll have a family breakfast and Fend For Yourself Night for dinner. For breakfast, I’m thinking this fruit & oat muesli I meant to try a couple of weeks ago and didn’t. It can be made the night before, is healthy, and will use up a lot of that co-op fruit.

Friday: We may be having our third African feast tonight; still waiting to hear confirmation. If not tonight, we’ll swap around menus with Saturday. Not sure what I’m planning yet, but the high is 41 and we have a lot of sweet potatoes so those factors may come into play. Update to come as the week (and plans) progress. UPDATE: Wednesday’s dinner will become tonight’s dinner once we get the propane.

Saturday: Our third African feast with a friend of Clyde’s, her Nigerian husband, and their daughter. Noah will be gone, unfortunately, so it’ll be a small affair. Menu to come.

“If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.” — Robert Morley

There will be minimal cooking this week (why is cooking for three is so much less stressful than four?). And much of what is cooked will be prepared by Noah, who won the highly competitive Snarky Teenager of the Year Award on Sunday. His prize package includes being head chef for the family at breakfast and dinner, with the bonus of being head dishwasher. He’s thrilled. Seriously.

All this on top of the fact that he actually is working this week. His middle school requires a week-long unpaid internship. So this week he’s working every day at TCBY. Getting up to make us breakfast, rushing to get the dishes done before heading off to work, coming home dog-tired only to have to make dinner and do dishes all over again. This sounds so familiar …

Here’s our week (which blessedly doesn’t seem to involve any rock climbing due to Noah’s work schedule):

Sunday: Dropped off Clyde at the airport and headed home for leftover night. Sawyer had leftover steak and roasted potatoes, I had leftover arroz con pollo, and Noah (post the standoff over the grilled cheese sandwich) had roasted potatoes and milk.

Monday: This morning, Noah made an impressive start to his culinary week by whipping up pancakes with bananas, blueberries, strawberries and/or blackberries (frozen fruit, of course; the only way to afford organic berries this time of year). Quite delicious and we had a good time cooking together. “See,” he says. “We wouldn’t be having these delicious pancakes if I hadn’t thrown away the grilled cheese.” Oh what a clever drama queen he is. He starts his TCBY gig so we’ll dine at the Subway next door. Single parenting can be so simple.

Tuesday: Noah continues to work; Sawyer goes back to school after a three-day weekend and has chess ’til 4:45 pm. A mad dash to get Noah at 5, then back home. The coconut-Thai breaded chicken breast looked too good to pass up at Whole Foods. On sale for $5.99 a pound, it would normally be too expensive for three of us. But for just Sawyer and me, well worth it. Noah is way into this fake meat at Whole Foods (“steak” with a vinegar plum sauce) so I’ll get that for him. Green beans and rice will go nicely with both.

Noah cutting up some Brussel sprouts while chatting on the phone

Wednesday: The boys  have guitar tonight, which is just 30 minutes but means I’m not home for something that needs to be served immediately. I got some of North Bay Trading Co’s 32-bean and 8-vegetable soup in the bulk section of Whole Foods. I (I mean Noah) just puts one part soup mix to eight parts water, adds in some whole tomatoes, simmers for a few hours and it’s done. Says it’s best to make it the night before so we’ll make it Tuesday night, which works better with his work schedule anyway. Think I’ll have him make two pots, one with a little bacon for the carnivores. UPDATE: The boys and I thought this soup was pretty bland (especially the vegetarian version; bacon makes anything eatable).

Thursday: If the beans are a success, we’ll have those again. Why complicate things? I’ll add some ciabatta to keep things interesting.

Friday: Clyde comes home so we’ll likely grab a quick dinner on the way home from the airport. The three of us will have breakfast together (Noah makes a mean omelet) just in case his flight is delayed.

Saturday: We’ll have extra boys so need something good for the masses. We just did tacos when we recently had extra kids, and it worked. Why mess with success?

“We didn’t have our family meal yesterday.” — the first sentence out of Noah’s mouth this morning

It’s true. I realized it as we pulled into our friends’ driveway to drop off Sawyer at a birthday sleepover last night.

How it happened is perfectly reasonable and absolutely absent-minded. I make our family calendar (here and on the refrigerator) on Sundays, planning all of our meals based on what we’re doing any given day. Do I have much time to cook right before we eat or does it need to be a quick throw-together or cooked in a crock pot? Will we have leftovers? Is somebody gone, meaning we need to have breakfast or lunch together? Do we have any meals planned with friends? I spend quite some time doing this every Sunday, making the rest of the week easy.

Noah jumps in front of the camera (a new move he thinks is hilarious) at a recent dinner with friends

On Monday of this week, Sawyer gets invited to the birthday party. No worries. Except I never mentally or on paper incorporated this into our calendar. It was a busy work week for me as I started a new freelance project. Thursday night we were all up until past 11 pm watching the UT debacle known as the BCS championship game. Friday morning breakfast was a blur as we let the kids sleep until 7:45 am and had to be out the door by 8:15 am. Everyone had lunch separately, which is almost always the case on weekdays. Another mom picked up Noah at school at 3 pm to take him to rock climbing and he wouldn’t be home until close to 8 pm. We had two other kids staying with us this weekend (they were on the calendar), and Sawyer had the party.

We certainly could’ve had breakfast together Friday. But — regardless the fact that this blog and eating one meal a day together is one of my life’s focuses at the moment — I completely forgot until I was in that driveway. It amazed me how this can still happen. But it happens to families every day. Despite being hyper focused on the idea, it happened to us.

There was nothing to be done. This happened once before when the boys were having a sleepover with friends. I realized it about mid-day, and we just met the family for a quick dinner. No worries. But imagine Sawyer’s face if we all showed up for a family dinner in the middle of a birthday party with he and a dozen other 4th graders. Just not gonna happen.

In actuality, we did have a lovely family dinner last night. Leftover chili, leftover Indian food, raw cookie dough for dessert, a bottle of Riesling. Noah had two friends sleeping over, friends who are as close to family as kids can be without actually giving birth. At first, the boys grabbed their dishes to head off in their own direction. Redirected to the dining room table, though, they lingered, laughing and playing that triangle/golf tee game you see at Cracker Barrel, for more than an hour. It was nice.

It was also nice that Noah mentioned we’d missed our family meal the first thing this morning. He didn’t say it in that snarky pre-teen way. Just noted it, like maybe he missed it, certainly he expected it. And that’s the point here, isn’t it? Creating habits to pass along to the next generation — whether it’s regular, intentional family meal time, expanding our family table to include people from different cultures, or doing our part to make sure everyone in the world has a meal to enjoy every day.

Sure, I screwed up. We’re making up for it today by having two meals together, so in the end, we’ll still have the same number of family meals we set out to have. And I’ll be more vigilent about updating my mental and paper calendars from now on. But Noah’s instant notice of the slip-up actually makes it OK. What we’re doing is working. We are bringing dinner back — today and, hopefully, in 30 years, when Noah is sitting around his dinner table with his family, expecting everyone to be there. And if they aren’t, because sometimes life and a bad memory get in the way, he’ll just try again the next day.

“A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time.” — Annie Dillard

And now back to our regularly scheduled chaos.

Although I love a schedule, it’s been a lovely two weeks without one. I’ve barely glanced at my calendar since the kids got out of school. Noah came home this weekend from his week of climbing with the team, so things feel a little more normal already. We’re easing back into it as the harsh realty of school, work, rock climbing, tennis, chess club, getting up and going to bed on time, and calendars all starts tomorrow morning.

Taking one more step toward reality, here’s this week’s schedule:

Sunday: Leftover dal curry soup, prettied up with rice and chana masala (Indian chickpeas) — both easy meals using Shan spice mix. We bought several new such spice mixes at the Indo Pak Market in Richardson. We were a bit rushed to get dinner on the table after relaxing too long so I used frozen jasmine rice from Whole Foods. Package costs $3 for four cups of rice. Not a bargain but after trying this, I think I’ll keep some on hand for the future. There are always times when having rice done in eight minutes would be very handy.

Monday: The last day of Christmas holidays. Clyde’s been dabbling in work off and on for the past two weeks but the boys and I have done little but sleep late (me), rock climb (Noah), and play Wii (Sawyer). Hoping to hang out with friends today. Arroz con pollo with green beans and a nice bottle of red wine is the evening’s dinner plan. (I made the veggie version for Noah last time and froze the leftovers so easy veggie meal already done.) We’ll likely end the evening with a game (hopefully not the Wii but realty Wii rules don’t start until tomorrow so maybe) or a family movie.

Tuesday: Sawyer has chess ’til 4:45 pm, Noah rock cilmbs 5-7 pm. I’ll be up at the gym with Noah so we’ll have something Clyde can easily throw together: leftover arroz con pollo and a salad.

Wednesday: Boys have guitar lessons from 5-5:30 pm. We’re going to try more of our Indo Pak finds: Shan’s butter chicken mix and a curry de kolhapuri with tofu by Parampara, both served over rice with some cumin-infused kale. UPDATE: This is a tricky maneuver as I’ll be gone to said guitar lessons during what should be the dinner-prep hour. Clyde is good at many things, but gets a tad stressed when trying to throw together dinner from a recipe he’s never made before. So I’m cutting up the chicken before I leave  (he’ll just add lemon juice and water to start the 30-minute marinade before we get home). I’ll have him cut the kale and other veggies that go in the curry tofu. Then it’s a quick 30-minute deal when I get home. POST-DINNER UPDATE: This meal was a huge hit. Of course, what dish with a stick of butter and half a cup of cream wouldn’t be?

Thursday: It’s all about the Longhorns this evening. UT is playing Alabama in the Rose Bowl. Noah is skipping rock climbing for the occasion. At home. High of 28 degrees, low 14. Football. Chili by the fire seems a given. I’ll surprise the family with UT Sprinkles cupcakes.

Friday: We have extra boys this weekend, so we need easy and fast meals. Going with an Italian soup, salad and ciabatta bread (again, I froze the leftover veggie version for Noah from last time so just one pot of soup this time around).

Saturday: Spaghetti sauce is good to feed the masses. Sadly, unless it’s summer (beautiful tomatoes make an amazing vegetarian sauce), Noah gets the jarred sauce while the rest of us have a homemade sauce with ground beef, crushed tomatoes, a red pepper, onion, garlic, wine, and rosemary or basil.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” — Frederick Buechner, American writer and theologian

There was no gladness in my house this morning, deep or otherwise.

Three nights of too little sleep does two very grumpy children make. In the first hour and a half of the day, we had blanket stealing, screaming, hitting, burning of breakfast, gnashing of teeth, screaming of mom. Play date with friends canceled. Sad faces. Apologies. Begging. Play date still canceled.

So we run errands. We head to the post office to mail Christmas cards, then to the antique store to buy dress-up clothes for my 3-year-old niece. Now my kids love antique stores. Sawyer had cheered up by this point but Noah looked like he’d seen a litter of puppies murdered. With a butcher knife. We had a box full of treats from Sunday’s Christmas program and plans to give them to homeless people downtown. So off we went. We started at the downtown library and the boys gave away more than half of them. Then we headed to The Stewpot, which feeds homeless people. A group of men were gathered and it was interesting to see Noah assess the situation.

“There are like 30 people and we only have enough for 15,” he said.

I suggested they go to one side of the street, which they did. The last few people who walked up to them walked away empty handed but waved to me and said it was OK. When the boys got back in the back in the car, they felt bad that they didn’t have enough food. I asked if they wanted to make more. Sawyer wanted to make brownies and I suggested we also make more substantial food. Noah suggested baked potatoes, which is perfect. Cheap, easy, transportable. So tomorrow we’ll bake 30 or so of them, wrapped in foil. We’ll add some cheese, butter, salt and pepper and hand them out.

And then there was gladness. Deep gladness on my part. Noah cheered up immediately after this errand. Sometimes getting outside yourself — doing for others — is the prescription what ails you. Even if you’re a pre-teen.

This week:

Sunday: Church, children’s Christmas program at church (Sawyer and his rock star mic were adorable), Christmas caroling and dinner/game night with friends. Chicken and dumplings, wine, chocolate fondue, and a game of Scattergories. What could be better?

Sawyer loves him some chocolate fondue

Monday: Impromptu leftover dinner with friends. We brought leftover African soup, mashed potatoes, ciabatta bread, and half the salad ingredients to mix with the other half of salad ingredients at their house, along with leftover fried chicken and more mashed potatoes. We’re enjoying a little Christmas music and cookie dough even as I type.

Tuesday: This is Noah’s half birthday so as is our long-time tradition, we will have half a birthday cake and 12 1/2 candles. Other food planned for the day includes baked potatoes for the homeless and dinner for friends at church who are overwhelmed by a mom who just had hip surgery and a dad with Alzheimers. Their kids have requested mac and cheese so I’ll use Clyde’s mom’s recipe (egg noodles, Velveeta, a little butter, milk, salt & pepper). We’ll get some chicken for them (roasted at Whole Foods or by me … not quite sure) and green beans to finish out that meal. And I’m going to try a vegetarian shepherd’s pie in honor of Noah. While I believe such a meal should have meat, I am willing to give it a try for my first born.

Wednesday: We’ll have a late breakfast and lunch together, as Sawyer is going to a Dallas Stars’ game for a friend’s birthday party. Blueberry muffins are the breakfast of choice these days, so we’ll go with that (at least we’ll get a few antioxidants with our sugar).

Thursday: A Greek feast for Christmas Eve! This is Clyde’s mom’s birthday so she’ll come up for my favorite church service of the year (which ends with Silent Night by candlelight), then the rest of his family will meet us at our place for moussaka, tzatziki, and Greek salad. The idea will freak Clyde’s family out a bit because it sounds exotic, but they’ll love it. Someday we should spend Christmas on Crete. We’re making chocolate chip cookie dough for Santa. Sawyer has brilliantly decided that Santa, like the rest of the family, would prefer dough to the cooked version.

Friday: Merry Christmas! Probably more blueberry muffins and hot chocolate (with freshly made whipped cream, made crunchy by a couple spoons of sugar) with our gifts. Then lunch in Waxahachie with my family.

Saturday: Christmas detox. I see this as a day we don’t get out of our PJs. New toys. New books. Family movie night and dinner by the fire (Christmas leftovers, I hope!) before Noah heads off for a weeklong rock climbing trip. I love days in your PJs. We don’t have enough of them anymore.