“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.”  ~ Ogden Nash (American poet)

Harsh, but dead on. Especially this past Saturday night.

Noah was gone for a week on a school adventure trip, rafting down a river in Big Bend National Park. Clyde was in Rhode Island last week for work. I’m in New York City this week for work. Not a stellar month for the family meal.

But we recaptured it Saturday night. Noah would’ve preferred to accept a sleepover invitation from a friend, but I nixed it in the name of family together time. He wasn’t pleased, but after eight hours of sex-ed at church, he was a nub who couldn’t really argue much.

Sprinkles cupcakes make even a Saturday night in your living room seem like a five-star event.

We grilled steaks, served with mushrooms cooked in butter, red wine, and pepper. Steak is my favorite food, hands down. But I found myself so in love with the mashed potatoes, I actually had steak leftovers. As is often the case when I have unusual vegetables or an unusually large quantity of them, I typed a key ingredients into the Epicurious.com web site and come up with this — mashed potatoes and turnips with roasted pear puree. The kids took one bite, made the face, and moved on, but they were absolutely wrong on this one. I ate it like ice cream — finally just getting a bowl of it when refilling my plate became embarrassing. I halved the recipe because it seemed to make a lot. This is a food I will crave. In fact, I’m wondering if any street vendors in Times Square might sell them. We also had a feta and beat salad (with various kinds of lettuce and arugula) and topped off the occasion with Sprinkles cupcakes. Watched 2012 huddled up on the couch together and went to bed. This is the kind of Saturday night I crave, especially when we’re so disconnected during the week.

Left early this morning for New York City. Had a difficult time getting jazzed about the trip, even though it involved one of my favorite cities and one of my favorite people (a side trip to Queens to see the original food freak in my life, Sarah). But sitting in her new, perfectly designed kitchen Sunday afternoon, eating Swiss cheese, bread, tzatziki, olives and chocolate chip banana muffins at the counter with her two adorable daughters, all felt right. There are few places I’d rather be. Sometimes it’s the leaving home that’s difficult; not necessarily the being away.

Sunday through Wednesday: Clyde’s keeping the family meals coming this week while I’m gone. His meal plan includes tater tots with cheese on top, breakfast night (featuring Sawyer’s favorite, biscuits and gravy), and Daddy Pasta (olive oil and garlic served over angel hair pasta with tomatoes, mozzarella, and parmesan cheeses). I must say he started out the week with a bang. When I called home to talk to everyone tonight, he was taking a homemade coconut cream pie out of the oven. Nice.

Thursday: I get home just in time to rush from the airport to school to take Sawyer to a doctor’s appointment. Noah will be at rock climbing practice, so we’ll gather for a late dinner around 7:45 pm. Sawyer and I will likely head to Whole Foods after the doctor’s appointment for something easy, since I won’t have even unpacked yet. We’ll grab a few servings of What Looks Good At the Store and head home.

Friday: Breakfast for the family (bird’s nests, I think). Clyde and I are going out to dinner to celebrate our 14th anniversary. Headed out to use a gift card at Park, given to us by great friends. Fourteen years. Wow.

Saturday: Hoping for another night of no phone calls, grilling up dinner, and watching a movie together. What can I say. I’m either boring … or tremendously content with being holed up with my three boys these days. Or maybe a bit of both.

“My favorite animal is steak.” — Fran Lebowitz

We have entered new territory. When I started this blog, committing with my family to eat at least one meal a day together for 53 weeks, the only caveat was that we’d have to change the rules when one of us was out of town. Noah is gone most of this week, on a rock climbing trip to Hueco Tanks State Park, reportedly the best bouldering in the nation. So, after 56 days of foursome dining, the three of us are left to carry on.

While we miss our snarky vegetarian (well, Clyde and I do; Sawyer is digging only child status), we have embraced his absence in a most appropriate manner — by indulging our carnivorous ways.

Here’s this week’s schedule:

Sunday: While Sawyer and I slept in, Clyde got up at an ungodly hour to deliver Noah to the rock climbing team. We awoke to the smell of breakfast wafting up the stairs. Clyde prepared his favorite, biscuits and gravy. Instead of deciding the eternal breakfast question — bacon or sausage — he went with both, and brewed a nice Earl Grey for us. Clyde and Sawyer had canned Cincinnati chili for lunch while I scarfed down two chicken legs on the way out to visit my grandmother in the hospital. They had the same over hot dogs for dinner (the chili, not my grandmother), while I enjoyed leftover mousakka, Greek salad, and tzatziki. Meat Week was off to a good start.

Dinner at Judy & Al's

Monday: Our main meal today was with dear friends from church. Sawyer had a school assignment to interview the oldest and coolest person he knew and chose Al Kline, a retired Lutheran pastor, woodworker, and builder of concrete block homes in Juarez. Al has a twinkle in his eye that would give Santa some stiff competition. His wife, Judy, came up with the crazy idea that we should go to Rwanda in 2008, forever changing my life. We had shrimp jambalaya, “good enough” wine (as described by Judy and perfect for a Monday afternoon), homemade eggnog, peanut butter cookies and ice cream. It was a wonderful three hours that could’ve too easily been replaced by an email or a phone call to get Sawyer’s assignment done. I’m so glad it wasn’t.

Tuesday: Clyde goes back to work after five days off and I’m headed out to a movie with friends in the evening, so breakfast it is. It’s supposed to snow tomorrow. Perhaps some oatmeal by the fire before Clyde hits the hopefully-not-yet-icy roads?

Wednesday: Clyde and I might catch another movie with a friend tonight, so we’ll do another breakfast or maybe Clyde can come home for lunch. I could whip up a little mid-day BLT to appease my blond bacon lover.

Sawyer lights the cool German advent piece at Al & Judy's. The heat from the candles spins the blades above.

Thursday: Our usual New Year’s Eve plans with old friends. In years past, we got together at a B&B and played games until we were falling over (laughing and sleepy, not drunk). Times and economies changes so the last couple of years, we’ve done it at our house. We make a dinner of snacks: cheese, crackers, Chex mix, homemade cheese balls, and any kind of sugar we have left from Christmas. Since it’s Meat Week at our house, perhaps we’ll throw in a little pâté.

Friday: As Noah and team make the 11-hour drive home, we’ll have one last carnivorous feast — steak. My absolute favorite food and one of Sawyer’s. I don’t believe I’ve ever gotten full on steak. I once did one of those steak challenges with a friend in Syracuse. Steak the size of the plate. I ate every bite. I’m not proud, just sayin’. We’ll have some sides but they truly will be afterthoughts so as not to interfere with the main event.

Saturday: Noah gets home early in the morning, no doubt looking like he’s been on a three-day binge after riding in a van all night and a week of too little sleep and too much sugar. To celebrate his homecoming, I’ll make his favorite Indian soup with naan and — our American twist on this ethnic favorite — hot chocolate with homemade whipped cream on top.

“Shit.” — Me, out loud as I realized at 1:30 pm that we’d forgotten to eat breakfast together, weren’t together for lunch and would be in different parts of the city for dinner

But no worries, we’re pulling it out in the end.

Today is a perfect example of why families don’t eat together. This morning one child had to be at school at 8:30, the other at 9:30. Clyde took one, I took the other. School program from 10 am to noon. Clyde goes to work. Sawyer goes home with a friend. Noah and I head to Blockbuster’s going-out-of-business sale and home. Tonight, we’re going to our book club dinner while Noah rock climbs, then both boys are spending the night with friends.

I’m not surprised I forgot. My week: Up ’til 2 am twice on a deadline. Christmas cards. Don’t forget the French onion dip for my class party. And my Secret Santa gifts. And 14 teacher gifts. Dinner party for 15. Christmas photo album for Clyde’s mom. Meeting about refugees. Two morning coffees with friends (hey, school’s out ’til Jan. 5; gotta get it in when I can). Christmas shopping. Appetizer for school holiday program. Pick up Sawyer’s class rat. Guitar lessons. Noah’s internship interview at TCBY. And the eternal rock climbing, of course.

So, at 1:30 pm, I consider my options:

• Lie. I mean it’s not like there’s going to be a FactCheck.org or Snopes post on my blog, right? Who will know? The kids could rat me out, though. Especially Sawyer. He pays attention to these kinds of things.

• Dash around Dallas trying to get everyone together. But I’m trying to finish up the Christmas photo album for Clyde’s mom, Noah is watching a movie, Sawyer is who knows where with his friend, and Clyde has that job thing.

• Slightly change our evening plans.

So instead of jetting off to our dinner soiree, we’ll drop by the rock climbing gym with Sawyer (instead of dropping him off early with our friends) and get Noah. We’ll meet said friends at a nearby restaurant and at least share a morsel of food together (glad I didn’t make any exact time or food quota when I took on this challenge!). We’ll be a little late to the book club dinner, have some time with all four of us in the same room, and it’ll all be fine.

And if Snopes come checking, I’m clean.

UPDATE: Had a great slice of cheese pizza at our our last-minute, pre-dinner dinner with the boys and our friends who were keeping them. Stayed longer than we should’ve and caught more more than we could’ve had we let the busy day keep us from our family meal. Totally worth it.

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” — Thomas Jefferson

What a wonderful week it has been.

We’ve had an unprecedented four days without organized sports. Afternoon after afternoon of little to do but make a fire in the living room, drink hot chocolate around it, enjoy a leisurely dinner, and do homework around the dining room table.  Such simple things. Simple things I have missed during the past two-and-a-half months of absolute overscheduling.

Sawyer & Noah, regulars around here these days

I don’t think I realized how much I missed those sweet faces until they were around so much.

The reasons for the much-appreciated pause are many. Baseball season is casual and has no playoffs. Football season ended a bit prematurely last Saturday when the star player screwed up in school and wasn’t allowed to play in the playoff game. Painful lesson for all involved but impressive on the part of the parents who followed through and the coach who backed them up.

The rock climbing hiaitus was brought on by the immediate need for Noah to study for exams this week and the long-term need for him to adjust his schedule so he could get a handle on the demands of the 7th grade. So we’ve gone from his climbing four days a week (being gone 20 hours a week, including drive time up to the gym) to his climbing four days a week (gone 15 hours). Now he’s home more afternoons and evenings than he’s not. We have time, a luxury I never realized I’d have to give up so soon.

Noah climbing

Or do I have to?

Certainly competitive rock climbing isn’t the norm. Seasonal soccer, football, baseball, basketball through your local Y are all sports that seem to work with a family’s schedule. Rock climbing — like many of the select sports or activities like dance, gymastics, ice skating — is year-round. And intense. Noah is a member of Team Texas, the best rock climbing team in the nation. This isn’t 4-year-old T-ball anymore. Maybe we as parents were prepared to give up our kids in high school. But at age 12? I wasn’t ready. And sometimes I think Noah wasn’t either.

Every parent knows it’s a tricky balance. What I wonder if we as parents know is that we don’t have to yes to every opportunity that comes through our children’s lives — at least not on terms that don’t feel comfortable.

Seems counter-intuitive, at least to me. Rock climbing is Noah’s passion. It makes him feel alive, and there’s nothing he’d rather do. Sawyer loves nothing more than throwing a ball — any kind of ball, although he’s preferences of late are baseball and football — with his dad, brother, or a friend. What they learn about themselves and relationships by being on a team can’t be recreated at my dinner table or in front of the fire in our living room. I get that.

Sawyer ready to play at SMU stadium

And thus the interminable question: Where’s the balance?

I know what it’s not. It’s not Sawyer doing two sports and Noah being gone 20 hours a week. At least not all the time. Can we do it in spurts? During fall when baseball and football overlap? During the spring and summer, when rock climbing nationals are ahead of us? Maybe. I want nothing more than to make it work because that’s what my kids want to do.

So we’ll keep tweaking things. Maybe it’s just me, wanting to hold on to precious time I used to have in abundance. Maybe it’s society, expecting too much. Maybe it’s both.

While we figure it out, I’ll just enjoy these leisurely, happy moments of hot chocolate by the fire. And maybe take a cue from how much my kids do, too.